The Minecraft Diaries

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The Minecraft Diaries

Postby mwchase » Fri Dec 17, 2010 7:12 pm

I floated this idea a few days back in the texture pack thread. I'm doing it now because now, I don't have exams to worry about.

Before reading, you should have a look at my skin. (Anyone wants to suggest refinements, that'd be much appreciated.) (Also, not sure that link works, which is a real shame.)

From the Desk of Maximillion Warner

To my beloved investors:

Following a sequence of perfectly simple and logical mishaps which, nevertheless, neither I nor anyone else can coherently explain, I find myself most gratified for your continued support, in spite of these fully temporary setbacks. Once again, I find myself thrust into a world that is at once alien and familiar, in search of riches with which to benefit us all, but mostly me.

My first impressions of this new world were good. I gathered wood easily enough, and began tunneling under my insertion point. Quite by accident, I stumbled upon bountiful mineral resources. Unfortunately, you're not getting any. I had to make them into pants. But I'm getting ahead of myself. In the end, not much happened. I mined further, got more iron and coal... And then I met the natives.

They are most uncouth. They slobber constantly, and seem to gargle phlegm. I have thought of offering them a lozenge, but I doubt they would appreciate the friendly gesture. Would you believe, when I went out to meet them, a few of them decided to attack me, and one excitable fellow blew himself up at me? Meanwhile, a rather thin gentleman tried to fill me with arrows, apparently under the impression that I was responsible for his being on fire. Before I could finish explaining this, he keeled over and died, before even thinking of apologizing!

In light of being exploded against my will, I resolved to convert some of my mineral wealth into protection. And I believe it worked. Ever since I put on these pants, nothing has attacked me.

Enough about that. Mindful of the importance of natural resources, I began setting up various simple systems for extraction. Most obvious is the small grid of cactus I have placed just outside my door. If I can better arrange it, it should prove invaluable in dealing with the locals. Next, I am experimenting with underground tree cultivation. The way I see it, nobody has conclusively proven that you can't grow a tree in a cave. Most significant is the small artificial lake I've constructed on one of my underground landings. As responsible corporate citizens, it is our duty to preserve fresh water, so that we may properly exploit it.

Also, I found some lava and stuck it near the experimental tree area. Next to the lava, for this was on the surface, there was a tree that burned forever. If I hadn't already embezzled all of your venture capital from myself, I'd hire that tree in a heartbeat. The only risk of such a move is that I may be obligated to promote it ahead of myself, and if that means having a boss that is always on fire, that's a risk I'm willing to take.

Yours,
Maximillion Warner, CEO and Founder of MakeWar, Incorporated

[We are MakeWar]
[A Corporation of One]
[Survival is Our Business]


So yeah, hope to keep this up, though I did kind of write all that stream of consciousness. It all pretty much happened like that, though.
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Re: The Minecraft Diaries

Postby mwchase » Sat Dec 18, 2010 3:27 pm

From the Desk of Maximillion Warner

Ow. Ow. Ow ow ow ow ow ow.

The nightlife here is full of thugs. I've had to erect a fence made of cactus to try to keep them away. No idea if it worked. I've also stumbled upon a vast cave system. Got blown up again. At least I haven't died! That would be... unpleasant. The cave seems to be full of unfriendly people who do nothing but moan unhappily. Don't they know anything about housewarming parties?

Addendum: AAAAH IT'S ON MY FACE GET IT OFF GET IT OFF.

Ahem. Thank you for your generous support. Without it, I would not have been able to return so quickly. On the other hand, it looks like I may need to sue myself in order to obtain adequate medical care for all of these explosions.

These might be short for now. It seems like all that's happening now is, I'm peering into caves and getting blown up.
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Re: The Minecraft Diaries

Postby mwchase » Mon Dec 20, 2010 6:16 pm

From the Desk of Maximillion Warner

A quick update: I have obtained sufficient obsidian. "Sufficient for what?", you may well ask. I will say only that it is sufficient. Concomitantly, I'm running low on diamond. As such, I will switch back to iron for the time... the time...

YOU FUCKER. YOU LITTLE SUICIDAL FUCKER. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR EMOTIONS OUT ON MY SMELTING FURNACE? THE YARD IS RUINED THANKS TO YOU. RUINED. I WILL LODGE A COMPLAINT WITH THE HOMEOWNERS' ASSOCIATION AT ONCE.

Also, there are zombies in the walls. This would make it really hard to sleep, if I hadn't had my vital functions surgically removed. Ta-ta, everyone.


I'm not sure about this, actually... The character of Maximillion seems to be getting a little incoherent, both in a "I'm not sure how to go further with this" kind of way, and in a "holy shit, zombies in the walls, why are there zombies in the walls?" kind of way.
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Re: The Minecraft Diaries

Postby Nick » Tue Dec 21, 2010 1:16 pm

Just wanted to let you know this is super entertaining. Thankyou.
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Re: The Minecraft Diaries

Postby mwchase » Tue Dec 21, 2010 1:37 pm

FrOm ThE DEsK oF maXiMiLlIoN WArNeR

HElLo, EvErYoNe. iT's BeEn A fUnNy CoUpLe Of DaYs, HaSn'T iT? FIrSt, i ThOuGhT I'D aCtUaLlY bE sAfEr UnDeRgRoUnD. AHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaH. ALsO, eXpLoSiOnS. THoSe ArE hIlaRiOuS, rIgHt? i'Ve BeEn BlOwN uP sO mAnY tImE's, i'Ve HoNeStLy FoRgoTtEn.

waIt, WhAt'S tHaT? YOu'Re ThInKiNg Of PuLlInG mY fUnDiNg?

Okay, I'll go find some diamonds.


(On a note that I'm not sure how to incorporate, burrowing around a lake of lava is a HUGE PAIN, huh?)
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Re: The Minecraft Diaries

Postby mwchase » Wed Dec 22, 2010 3:29 pm

From the Desk of Maximillion Warner

My beloved investors, I bring good news! Not only did I find four diamonds, and mine four diamonds, and pick up four diamonds, I also made a clean break from the exploding maniacs in the same bit of the cave system as the four diamonds. I'm pretty sure they can't reach me now, even though there is literally a path they can walk along. It's just too confusing for their gunpowder-addled brains. Still, I need at least fourteen more before I feel comfortable entering... that place. The fundamental issue with the current situation is, I can sustain myself quite well without moving, so I'm not sure what incentive I have to go out and get exploded more.

Yours,
Maximillion Warner, CEO and Founder of MakeWar, Incorporated

[We are MakeWar]
[A Corporation of One]
[Survival is Our Business]

I did all of my previous explorings in Peaceful mode, and I guess it shows. All I see now is opportunities to get to new places full of explosions and hate. Right now, I have adequate mineral supplies and such. I think I need a reason, or something, to do anything more. (I mean, I guess I could put my massive redstone supplies to some use. Any suggestions?)

Well, either that, or I switch tacks and do a visual exploration of stuff in Peaceful mode.
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Re: The Minecraft Diaries

Postby mwchase » Sun Jan 02, 2011 9:43 pm

From the desk of Maximillion Warner

My beloved investors, I apologize for the recent drought of updates. After some thoroughly uneventful exploring, nothing much happened. However, I was inspired by the example of a much better man than I, and so I ventured forth into the shadowy underworld from the hell-portal I built right next to my front door. Then, I ventured east, until I could proceed no further (sudden drops do have that effect), and returned to the world with which I have been familiarizing myself, intending to venture homeward. I bring good news about the so-called "hell" dimension. Comparing my experiences in it with my experiences on the way back, it is clear that "hell" is not only habitable, but a fair bit more amenable to safe, secure living than the alleged "overworld". In a stroke of good luck, I have discovered that the suicidal green hooligans prevalent in caves are not composed merely of concentrated hatred, but also some amount of sulfur. Thinking on the relative amounts of each available to me, I think it is quite likely that this substance is more valuable than diamond. Yet, I can conceive of no use for it that does not involve intense agony on my part, so I shall be sure to put it on the open market. Wealth is assured.

On a sadder note, this research has reduced me to near-collapse. In addition, I packed inadequate pickaxes for the journey home. When they run out, I shall have to resort to more durable tools for digging—my bare fists.

Yours,
Maximillion Warner, CEO and Founder of MakeWar, Incorporated

[We are MakeWar]
[A Corporation of One]
[Survival is Our Business]


Time just sort of stopped for Maximillion, there, as a result of stuff like Super Scribblenauts.
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Re: The Minecraft Diaries

Postby mwchase » Sat Jan 08, 2011 6:54 pm

OH GOD. IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN.

I had just completed the ground floor of the Maximillion Warner Hostile Entity Reprocessing Plant. Burrowing back out to the surface, I happened upon yet another unpleasant green fellow, who refused to comprehend progress, and answered my idealism with explosives. That was not the problem, once I patched the leak. Not only are ideas bulletproof (my idea is PROFIT), but I was wearing armor. The problem was, the magnitude of the explosion apparently triggered some manner of time warp, stranding me fatally underground.

Fortunately, my insertion point is like five feet away, so I didn't have to try too hard to recover my lost items, but I did lose a few, not wanting to risk further flooding. All in all, not too big a loss, but still rather annoying. I will get back to work on this soon, ideally extending the tunnels to connect to my existing complex. Hopefully, the supplies of sulfur, thread, feathers, and arrows this gets me will be worth it.

Crashes make me a sad. >.<

I think my next goal, after I finish the mob tower and stud the landscape with torches to confine the spawns to it, will be to wait for music blocks and try making something with redstone circuits. I'm thinking Sburban Jungle.
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Re: The Minecraft Diaries

Postby mwchase » Thu Jan 13, 2011 10:23 pm

I'm going to have to go OOC for this update. Ahem.

FUCKING SONOFABITCH, YOU JUST HAD TO GO AND PUNT ME INTO THE GODDAMN LAVA WITH YOUR LITTLE TOY ARROWS THAT I CAN'T EVEN PICK UP WHEN THEY MISS ME FOR SOME REASON. WHY IN THE NAME OF SATAN'S SWOLLEN RECTUM WOULD YOU GO AND ATTACK THE ONLY HUMAN ON THE PLANET? I AM THE MOST ENDANGERED SPECIES, BITCH. I'VE DECIDED TO HAUNT YOU, HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT SHIT? ALL I'M SEEING SO FAR IS THAT YOU CAN'T SEEM TO GET ENOUGH OF SHOOTING ME. IS YOUR LIFE SO EMPTY THAT YOU'VE GOT NOTHING TO DO BUT FLING PHALLIC SYMBOLS AT A CORPSE? I BET YOU'D BE TEABAGGING ME IF YOU HAD THE GUTS TO COME OVER HERE, BURNING DEATH BE DAMNED. EXCEPT YOU HAVE NO TESTICLES. IS THAT WHY YOU DID THIS? JEALOUSY? I'LL SHOW YOU MINE UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL IF IT'D MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.

I DO APPRECIATE ALL THE DAMN ZOMBIES COMMITTING SUICIDE TO GET TO MY CORPSE. AIN'T NOBODY GETTING A PIECE OF THIS HOT ACTION, NO HOW.

I guess what I'm saying is, I've been playing too much lately, and I'm going to step away, maybe start a new world to try out that idea I mentioned, and probably delete this one in a momentary fit of rage.
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Re: The Minecraft Diaries

Postby mwchase » Thu Jan 20, 2011 11:32 pm

Update on my non-canon exploits in World 2: manually placing over 3000 blocks is really boring. (-.-)
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Re: The Minecraft Diaries

Postby mwchase » Thu Feb 10, 2011 12:03 pm

(Gimme an N! E! C! R! Etc!)
WARNING. UNIDENTIFIED INTERFERENCE ON TRANSDIMENSIONAL RECEIVERS. DUMPING TO LOG.

*mumble mutter* slip the bonds of earth *mutter* show them all *mumble* Laputa *mutter mutter* self-sustaining *mumble* Babel 2.0 *mumble* everlasting flames *mumble* survival of the fittest *mutter* instantaneous tree growth *mumble* impregnable fortress *mutter*

Boy, what could it all mean?
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Re: The Minecraft Diaries

Postby mwchase » Wed Mar 23, 2011 12:10 pm

Okay, this is from neither of the two worlds I've been messing around in for this, but it's seriously weird.


How did that even happen?

Aside: I'm thinking of starting over next week, to commemorate a purchase I plan to make: 2ome 2tylii2h anaglyph gla22e2 (and yes, I have the 2hiirt, a2 well). Anybody have objections to a more image-heavy format, using THREE-DEE?
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Re: The Minecraft Diaries

Postby Coda » Wed Mar 23, 2011 2:14 pm

THREEEEEE DEEEEEEEEEEE~
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Re: The Minecraft Diaries

Postby mwchase » Tue Mar 29, 2011 7:54 pm

iit ii2 on, biitche2!
Image
I mean, once playing Minecraft in 3D stops being, well, to quote a great man...
that ... is really bad for the eyes ...

Also, I need free time in which to do this, so it might take even more of a while. Oh well.
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Re: The Minecraft Diaries

Postby mwchase » Mon Apr 04, 2011 10:46 am

Okay, so. I've put together a customized Painterly Pack that deals with most of the problems I've had so far (although I also need to use a custom video mode and errrgh). Anyway, I think all that's left is tweaking my skin until it renders properly. Really, I just need a different color palette for the suit, because it's currently too blue.

EDIT: Okay. I gave him a brown-orange suit, and changed the greys to off-greens. That ought to do, for a start.

(I mean, there's also the issue that roses look damn weird, but that's a result of, well, being red.)

Due to various changes in commitments (Pokémon RP is now on a different day, and I got a boyfriend since I last posted.), I'm not sure when I'll be able to play, but if I can keep my work under control, I should be able to slot something in.

EDIT: Oh, also. I'm thinking I'll use a seed for this world. Anyone have, you know, a number or a phrase they want me to use, or anything like that?
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Re: The Minecraft Diaries

Postby Alfador » Sat Apr 09, 2011 1:52 pm

mwchase wrote:Anyone have, you know, a number or a phrase they want me to use, or anything like that?


Litagano Motscoud
Arf! *wagwagwag*
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Re: The Minecraft Diaries

Postby mwchase » Sat Apr 09, 2011 4:20 pm

Sounds excellent. I'll try to get started, in, like, a week, because OH GOD COLLEGE @,@

(For the record, this is OH GOD COLLEGE as in, every previous time I've said that is utterly trivial in comparison. I hope senior year drops less crap in my lap.)

EDIT: I'm putting this off a little, partly because I have work from this week that overflowed to next week, but mostly because I want to wait until 1.5 is out. Stats, weather, powered rails... awesome.

FURTHER EDIT: Okay, 1.5 is out, and I think I need to wait for the Painterly customizer to update. In any case, I've got a couple horrible hurdles left: two final projects, a midterm, three or four finals... Anyway, right now, I can barely think, so there's no way I can manage a writeup. Also, when I've got more to say than excuses for delaying, I'll finally add another post to the bottom. WOOHOO DOUBLE POST #_@
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Re: The Minecraft Diaries

Postby mwchase » Fri Apr 22, 2011 5:39 pm

This was an excellent use of my time.
Hello there, friend. Buying or selling? Or would you rather pull up a chair? Business is slower than you can possibly imagine, so, if you want, I can tell you how I came to run this little hole in the ground.

I'm a businessman, you see, an entrepreneur.
Image
I look for opportunities that nobody else would think to exploit... which was how I ended up on a floating island, trying to unload several pallets of discounted cell phones on the locals. Seems there was some kind of scientific interest in that island, what with the floating, and the flowers. I'd appreciate it if you didn't bring them up; it's better that way. Anyway, I suppose it's a little hard to explain what happened without mentioning the flowers, so I'll skip to the end. Image
A couple of talking rabbits hired me to assist a cross-dressing robot who wielded a gun that shot ducks.
Image
I don't mean that people shot at ducks with it, I mean it had rubber ducks instead of bullets. Image
This is just what they told me, and I can't confirm any of it, because when I went up to the house that was supposed to be their base,
Image
um, well, my memory goes blank. I assume that's a concussion. One phrase echoes through the space in my mind where the memories should be. 'Litagano Motscoud'... I assume it's significant, but I can't say how. Anyway, the first thing I really remember is awaking, standing up, on a patch of sand...

"Pull yourself together, Maximillion. You've come back from worse. Just because someone knocked you out and stole everything except the shirt off your back, then dumped you out here in the middle of nowhere, doesn't mean you can't make a fresh start. Now, the first thing to do is get your bearings. Which way is east?"
Image
"... Oh. This presents some novel navigational issues of unknown magnitude."

I'm thinking I'll try to get these up every Friday night. I don't think I'll have as many dashed-off sketches, unless I come up with some kind of... intermission. Thing.
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Re: The Minecraft Diaries

Postby Coda » Sat Apr 23, 2011 7:22 am

>.> I can't read the word before "dollars" ^^; Forgetting to turn off your anaglyph plugin makes that joke even funnier though.
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Re: The Minecraft Diaries

Postby mwchase » Sat Apr 23, 2011 10:02 am

Coda wrote:>.> I can't read the word before "dollars" ^^; Forgetting to turn off your anaglyph plugin makes that joke even funnier though.

"hrair"

I'm thinking I might just do this normally, and only use anaglyph when I really want to (it improves jumping considerably, for me), since, among other things, it literally makes me cry. It doesn't make me sad, or anything, it just... makes me cry.
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