Thilia's spoof of the TSA

Postby Jennifer Diane Reitz » Mon Dec 27, 2010 1:27 am

Thilia, my Sandi, wrote a brill comedy about the Grope or Glow going on at airports in the USA lately. Here it is for y'all:


Overheard just before Christmas at a Department of Homeland Security planning session:

Boss: Okay, it looks like these naked body scans are going over even better than we thought they would. Now Jenkins, you're sure that nobody suspects that the version the sheep are seeing as they're being scanned are just the low res version of the HD copy we're keeping on file?

Jenkins: Nobody thinks about it at all as far as we can tell, Boss.

Boss: Great! Can you send some more of the good ones to my office hard drive by Monday?

Jenkins: Consider it done, Boss.

Boss: All right, you're going to like this one. The boys in the think tank already have something ready for next year. Since everybody knows that a suicide bomber is already planning to die, we figure there's no reason he wouldn't want to become a walking bomb. Why wear a bomb when you can swallow one instead?

Jenkins: Stop, Boss, you're scarin' me.

Boss: Jenkins, how long have you been with us? It not any more real than exploding underpants. But the sheep won't know that. So come the summer travel season, we're going to introduce Operation Inflate and Fellate at the 25 biggest airports.

Jenkins: That's a lot of syllables. What's it do?

Boss: Hang on, buddy. To make sure nobody boarding an aircraft is a walking bomb, everybody is going to have to blow a breath test on a machine that looks just like a big dick, right there in line at the airport.

Jenkins: Does the machine have to look like a big dick, Boss?

Boss: Of course not, Jenkins, but where's the fun in that?

Jenkins: So do the sheep use a cubicile or something for the test, you know, for privacy.

Boss: Of course not, Jenkins, you idiot. They'll do it right there in front of all the other sheep, with our security cameras recording it all for use later.

Jenkins: My mama's not going to like this. She kinda likes the naked camera search when she flies. But the idea of the TSA making Mama do something she never did for daddy in 32 years of marriage is going to make my life difficult when I go home at night, I can tell you.

Boss: Jenkins, don't let your mommy scare you. When you see your first HD file of Brad Pitt sucking a big TSA dick, you're gonna be proud to work here.

Dr. Sandi Woodruff - GM/Engineering Manager
Northwest Indy Radio -
Radio KYA -
Jennifer Diane Reitz
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Re: Thilia's spoof of the TSA

Postby Plasman » Thu Dec 30, 2010 2:41 am

Oh my. I knew there was a reason. Big Brother really is a voyeuristic pervert!

Tell Sandi I say :lol: LOL! :lol:
If this last post seems ridiculous, please disregard it. Thank you. ;)
By the way I made two level packs for Boppin' in case anyone is interested... :oops:
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