A New Forum Deputy Moderator!

Postby Jennifer Diane Reitz » Wed Mar 18, 2009 4:24 pm

I have elected a new Deputy Forum Moderator to help out with the anti-spam and troll watch, as well as the 'keep Jenny under control' squad, please welcome our own Monocheres to active duty!

Monocheres has been under consideration for some time; I am very impressed by his character, I believe he will be a great asset, and an even hand.
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Re: A New Forum Deputy Moderator!

Postby RaharuAharu » Wed Mar 18, 2009 4:31 pm

0-0
Congrats Monocheres.
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Re: A New Forum Deputy Moderator!

Postby marinschild » Wed Mar 18, 2009 6:31 pm

Congratulations Mono! You definitely seem to be a person with the skills to vanquish any forum foe.

Does he get a nifty title with his admin status (like Sir Monocheres of [insert location here])?
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Re: A New Forum Deputy Moderator!

Postby Monocheres » Wed Mar 18, 2009 7:56 pm

TAKE 1:

[EXTERIOR -- RIVERBANK -- DAY: Hot mid-day Mediterranean sun is beating down. Two small felucca-boats are moored at the bank of a river, lazily bobbing in the gentle current. They are joined together by a plank laid across them amidships and nailed to their hulls. There is a sound of loud snoring and we see MONOCHERES* on his back in the prow of one of the boats, asleep, his mouth agape, sawing wood. His hand occasionally makes a desultory wave to shoo a fly from his face.]

MONOCHERES: ZZZZZZZZZ....ZZZZZZZZ...*snort*...ZZZZZZZZ...ZZZZZZZZZ...*snnk* *nggh* *snort*
Mmph? Hrum? Wazzat... Depoopy Mudderwetter huh?

[His eyes suddenly pop wide awake, he leaps up to a standing position, snaps to attention with a click of his heels, and freezes into a stiff-armed salute. The boats rock crazily, yet the sailor uncannily keeps his balance.]

MONOCHERES: [bellowing] Present! The Royal Navy of Astochastus* I, King of the Moirolatres*, all present and accounted for!

[Notices the audience, slowly relaxes from the salute, and puts on a broad ear-to-ear grin]

MONOCHERES: Well, well, what a fine crew of ladies and gentlemen we have here!

[Doubles over into a deep bow, with an extravagant flourish of his hand, causing the boats once again to bob precariously, yet once again he keeps his balance]

MONOCHERES: Welcome! Welcome, to my humble abode ...

[He deftly kicks a long ferryman's pike up from the bow of the nearer boat, catches it easily in his hand, twirls it around and thumps the outside of the hull, where we can see rough letters spelling out its name...]

MONOCHERES: His Majesty's dreadnaught, the Tromara* ... my bedroom and parlor ...

[Stepping quickly into the stern, he plunges his pike into the water and gives a shove against the riverbed. In one smooth motion, the two little boats swing 180 degrees around their mooring so the second boat is facing the audience. Monocheres again twirls his pike and thumps the lettered side of the second hull.]

MONOCHERES: His Majesty's battleship, the Andara* ... my kitchen and den ...

[He makes another Byzantine bow and flourish that once again sets the boats wildly pitching and rolling, as the current slowly yaws them back around the mooring to their original position]

MONOCHERES: His Majesty's fleet, ready for inspection! ... Would anyone care to come aboard for a tour? ... No takers? ... None at all? ... Ah, well ... Then, my dear friends, how may I be of service?

[Listens intently a moment ... then suddently his wall-to-wall grin disappears and is replaced by an astonished expression, his pike drops with a clunk into one of the boats, and then ---

-- Monocheres tumbles head over heels over the side and into the drink! Splash!

Coughing and sputtering, he flings his hand and a foot over the side of the boat and heaves himself back aboard. Dripping wet and wheezing, he stares at the audience, dumbfounded
]

MONOCHERES: You .. *cough* *cough* ... You gotta be joking! ... *hack* ... Me? Deputy Moderator? ...

[Suddenly it's as if a light bulb switches on over his head, and the mischievous ear-to-ear grin dawns again]

MONOCHERES: Hmmmmm ... this could be good ... real good ... heh-heh ...

--------------
TRANSLATION GUIDE:
*Monocheres = Lonehand
*Astochastus = Nottaclew
*Moirolatres = Fatalistics
*Tromara = Terror
*Andara = Clamor

-------------------------------------------------------

TAKE 2:

Sorry about that, I have to let my avatar out every now and then to play ... This whimsical little vignette notwithstanding, Jennifer was kind enough to let me know about this in a private email and ask me whether I wanted the job, and I was happy to oblige. Thanks, Jennifer, for the nice complement and for putting your trust in me. I hope and endeavor to make myself an asset to this forum. And thank you all for the kind words, I really appreciate it!

^v^

Now if I can just figure out these controls without triggering any explosions. Is it the red wire or the green wire? Hmmm.....

@,@

-------------------------------------------------------
TAKE 3:

"Even hand" ... nyuck, nyuck, nyuck! Nice one, Jennifer!

#_@
---
(formerly known as Synetos Protos ... but Monocheres was an even cooler character)
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Re: A New Forum Deputy Moderator!

Postby Plasman » Wed Mar 25, 2009 4:07 am

{Applause.}
If this last post seems ridiculous, please disregard it. Thank you. ;)
________
By the way I made two level packs for Boppin' in case anyone is interested... :oops:
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