Chapter 13- The State of Yo

The illustrated novel by Sandi and Jennifer

Chapter 13- The State of Yo

Postby InterNutter » Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:00 am

Linkie

Not so much a sudden wrap as leaving-off-with-a-future.

Many, *many* first-authors suffer from "Happily Ever After" syndrome, in which all the significant threads are wrapped up on a paragraph-by-paragraph basis. Each one plotting out a lifetime. As you can guess, it's kind of disappointing to read. Almost as bad as "and they went" narrative.

I keep wanting to know about the sub-threads. Who was the ultimate victim of Ted Huang and Tala's last nadget? Did something awful happen to Gravis and nobody noticed? Will Tala's Govenor status interfere with the moviegame enterprise, or was that forgotten? Will the corporate/government thing ever realise that it's a sociopath? [will they ever?]

It's good to leave a few questions unanswered. Makes sequels a possibility. Sequels are author-money in the bag. Well... for novels they are.

The length of this... work... is kind of odd. It doesn't fall readily into the existing pigeon-holes of the market as it stands. Which is why the Internet is such a fab place for things like this. You can find an audience with anything and not worry about the invisible pigeon-holing crew. Especially illustrated novellas like this.

[Not as a knock on the art quality, but... that one pic of Richard with Chet... made me worry something horrid and unmentioned had happened to him. A little touch of the 'blur' tool will have the edges off that paint swipe just dandy :D ]

Overall, though, I like it. Personally, I'd like more people-stuff, but I'm a people-matter-in-SF loonie. Consider my head pantsed.
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Re: Chapter 13- The State of Yo

Postby Jennifer Diane Reitz » Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:16 pm

InterNutter wrote:Linkie

Not so much a sudden wrap as leaving-off-with-a-future.

Many, *many* first-authors suffer from "Happily Ever After" syndrome, in which all the significant threads are wrapped up on a paragraph-by-paragraph basis. Each one plotting out a lifetime. As you can guess, it's kind of disappointing to read. Almost as bad as "and they went" narrative.


I disagree, most heartily, with the presumption that having a non-tragic ending is in any way amateurish, or that it is in any way the sign of a 'first-author' to have a happy ending. If you want a nihilistic ending, go read our other book, the dark, pitch black comedy 'Urban Gorillas', here: http://jenniverse.com/urbanmain.htm

We could not sell that book because, although several publishers were interested, it was rejected for being 'too dark'.

There is nothing wrong, whatsoever, with an ending where the protagonist triumphs. Indeed, outside of Greek tragedy, it is the only satisfying ending - only the most Emo would wish for endless stories of losers and how they failed. Life is full enough of that, dispensed to all of us, throughout our sad lifespans. The point of heroes is that they succeed, the point of a story that is not a tragedy is that it shows us that, occasionally, things can go right. At least for someone.

I am sorry you are disappointed. But I am disappointed in your outlook, the superior sounding dismissal of a successful ending for a protagonist as an amateurish thing. What the hell crap have you been told that you would think that a happy ending is anything other than appropriate?

As for the protagonist, Tala, yes, she has a city now, and she owns it. For now. But a sequel, if one were ever to be written (not likely now, because, let's face it, what the hell would be the point?) could easily explore just how hard it is to hold on to what one has, and how very fleeting success actually can be. A thousand and one things could go terribly wrong. Isn't this how 'great' works, like the original Star Wars, and Back To The Future, and many more operate? First movie is an apparent 'happily ever after', and if there is a sequel, everything goes horribly wrong, only to be corrected to a final, truly happy ending in the third installment? And what of countless individual novels that end on success, from the works of Asimov to Heinlein? Oh, yeah. That stuff. The entire history of modern literature and film.

I don't expect rave reviews, but I do expect cogent complaints, and complaining that a positive outcome is amateurish is just plain silly.

What a world, where it is expected that the 'professional-level' writer is defined by books that inevitably end in a way that makes the reader feel brought down, where the protagonist is seen to be a failure, ultimately, and everything turns to shit in the end. Yeah, that's some fine readin' there boy. Sweet. Or the notion of endless, joy-leaching chapters that follow up minor crap piddling off beyond the proper, triumphant ending.

If that is 'professional-level', then I am going to stick to the 'first-time' amateurs, like Clarke, and Heinlein, and Pohl, and Sheckley, and Asimov and Leiber and Norton, with all of those silly happy endings where the hero triumphs in the end, and minor secondary matters, relatively unimportant to the main plot, are wrapped up succinctly -so as not to leach energy from the triumph of the protagonist.
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Re: Chapter 13- The State of Yo

Postby InterNutter » Thu May 01, 2008 9:05 pm

Okay, I tripped over my own words, up there, somehow.

I never said I was disappointed, nor that I disliked it.

I was pointing out, or trying to, that you dodged a major writer-bullet, there. Happy endings are okay. I like happy endings.

What I dislike is "and this and this and that happened for the rest of their lives" one-paragraph life summaries.

You did not do that. I like that you did not do that.

I also like the story. I can't see where the hell the publishers got off on the 'too dark' thing, given the overall theme of salvage from the debris of chaos... perhaps they were looking for an excuse other than the odd length and snaffled the first one they tripped over.

I've been lambasted by professional authors in my time, in the lengthy process of trying to become one. I was attempting to give a serious critique based on my admittedly limited knowledge of the publishing world. And yes, they are a bunch of snobs.

I count myself amongst the shameless plebs with pride :D

You've actually inspired me, believe it or not. I have my own, peculiar little stories that I *know* damn well will not be published because they're weird, they have odd word counts, or they've been told before by a better writer that I've never heard from... and therefore am not amongst the elite or whatever.

I am thinking of following your lead. Publish the story via the intarwebs, with illustrations... and possibly bilk for shill 'cause if there's one thing a writer likes more than a fanbase - it's moneys :D But I digress.

The point I missed hitting up there is that it's a good story. My mind is coming up with scenarios for the world you've created. Stuff like: is it possible to cover up a murder by using VR? If a "virtual copy" of the victim exists, puppeteered by the murderer to some extent, and retreats into apparent isolation... how would authority know?

It doesn't have to involve Tala... just the world. It's an interesting environment to create stories for. There's all kinds of things. And, like I said, unanswered questions that I, personally, find fascinating.

...and I can't run away with it 'cause it's your world. I'd be writing more fanfic when I really, *really* should be concentrating on my own stuff. But, damnit, your stuff is so shiny...

Sigh.

Sorry for putting my foot in my mouth again. I'll just hide under this rock, here...
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Re: Chapter 13- The State of Yo

Postby Jennifer Diane Reitz » Thu May 01, 2008 10:48 pm

Oh! Then I apologize. It's far too easy to misunderstand things, in type, without vocal and physical mannerisms. It is also far to easy to misinterpret things according to one's own emotional state, and mine has been somewhat unhappy this week.

Please forgive any... me jumping all over you type stuff.

Hopefully, this coming week, I will be able to get out of this foul mood.
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